Monday, December 24, 2007

Frazzled




Today, this Christmas Eve 2007 I'm a bit frazzled. Not because of the shopping, running around etc. but because I lost my best friend on Dec 3. I have spent every holiday alone at one time or another in my life..but I could atleast hear her voice if we were not close enough to hug.

We had the longest relationship I have ever had..a whole 45yrs. (The last time I will ever admit that lol) There were times we wanted to divorce eachother, but we always came back together, she taught me to not go to bed angry. Im still working on that.

I know she loved me unconditionally because, someone who truly loves you may not inturn always agree..but that love is there no matter how many bad days or quirky faults you have. It is called accepting a person for who they are.

She became my best friend as I entered adulthood, and we talked about everything under the sun from sex, drugs, rock n roll and everything in between.

She was the only person I have ever known who ever really knew and understood me..and yet, still she loved me. Not because she had to, I know this because while you may know a person, it takes love to want to understand them.


No, she didn't agree with everything I said or did, as she taught me someone of that character meant you no good..but when I needed a cheering section she was there always. She taught me how to love life, live life and how not to let the chains a boxed mind, capture and keep me.

She challenged and encouraged me. When something bothered me and I asked "What am I gonna do now" her response was always "You are gonna do better". I know that because of the quality time that God gave us together, and all of the gifts that she passed on to me throughout my life, that it will be hard, to just "do better", but I know that because I was blessed to have her in my life, I have the skills that will enable me to be able to do so.


It was nothing at all for me to do as much as I could, whatever I could do to comfort and assist her. She has never abandoned or left me when I needed her.

Yet that demon Cancer thought it would have the first and final say, but Jesus did instead. She was taken away and carried into his bosom before unbearable pain would come to her door.

For years whenever someone lost a loved one I would always share Isaiah 57:1. The Lord showed it to me one day while I was searching and I thought that was a much needed scripture, but secretly worried if people would be offended by it.
Now, as I need it, I see it as a promise fulfilled and comfort in knowing it.

God promised that we would not feel the sting of death.

The righteous perisheth, and no man layeth it to heart: and merciful men are taken away, none considering that the righteous is taken away from the evil to come--Isiah 57:1

I know that I will see you again one day mama in heaven, whole, new, healthy and still being silly together and sporting that famous smile you have. We both accepted Christ as Lord and savior of our lives. Where will your soul be one minute after you die?

I will love, need and miss you always and forever. I thank God for the time we had
Love always,

PamYla

Salvation

5 comments:

Deb said...

PamYla,
I linked to your blog from my email through everydaymatters.

It is with tears that I read that you lost your most cherished friend...but when I got to the part where you said that she was carried away into Jesus' bosom...I was hoping...and yes...did continue to read that she knew the Lord. How wonderful to know that you will one day meet again in Heaven and have all of eternity to love and encourage each other!

May God bless you as you celebrate our Savior's birth. Please know that I will be praying for you as you journey through this loss of such a dear friend.

Blessings!

Pippa said...

And I give to you Zephaniah 3:17 ~

"The LORD your God is with you,
He is mighty to save.
He will take great delight in you,
He will quiet you with his love,
He will rejoice over you with singing."


May you find delight and quietness and joy in spite of the pain.

Love & light to you!
Pippa

(a new EDM member)

vickylw said...

Very touching -- I'm teary-eyed reading your tribute. I'm 53 and have never had such a long, close friendship as this with anyone. You are blessed.
May our Lord Jesus Christ himself and God our Father, who has loved us and given us eternal encouragement and good hope by grace, encourage your heart and strengthen you... (2 Thess.2:16,17)

Vicky

PamYla said...

Thank you and God bless Deb, Pippa and Vicky! You are all so encouraging and a blessing and I thank the Lord for you!

Pamyla

Ron said...

Pam,

I am sad that I have not had you, your brother, your sisters, your mom in my life.

I am sad that her leaving brought us together.

I am awed by the depth of you, the breadth of you.

I now know that your Mom was a great person because I now know you.